Build Back Confidence

If you’ve ever fallen of a horse and ‘come a cropper’ then you know that the adage to remount right away is not always high on your to do list. Know that you are not alone! Especially if you have been hurt during the incident or even worse are unable to climb back into the saddle. But you don’t have to get hurt to lose confidence riding or even handling horses from the ground.
 
Whatever the reason for the loss of confidence in the equine aficionado, there are simple steps that can be undertaken to bring an individual’s level of confidence back up. Sometimes confidence has been lost due to a single accident or event and sometimes it has been gradually eroded over time. Whatever the nature of the loss, patience and understanding of both self and the horse responsible is key to successfully rebuilding trust in the relationship from both sides of the horse/human equation.
 
The first thing to accept is that horses are big, unpredictable animals and accidents happen. Fear is a necessary survival skill so the first thing is to accept that it is O.K. to be scared. There are several methods to overcome this fear factor and here is some general advice to give you direction.
 
Identify What Scares You
 
You don’t have to experience a complete horse wreck to be scared to get back on the horse.  It could have been a narrow escape that you survived with no physical injury. You could truly have been in danger or you may have perceived that you were so your body and instincts took over, creating tension and precipitating a near miss.
 
Take an honest look at your own backstory and that of your horse. Was it a one off event or a series of similar events? Was it just a general feeling you have around a particular horse or in a particular environment? Determine whether it was truly a random accident.
 
What could have been done to prevent it? Could you or your horse have been better prepared in your fitness or training? This will be an important starting point in resolving the issue and bringing you back to a state of relaxation and happiness in the saddle.
 
Make a Plan
 
Your ‘recovery plan’ should include one for you and one for your horse. It is important that the steps you take to build back your confidence and that of your horse are attainable so keep them simple and break them down into baby steps.
 
The first thing to consider is whether the horse’s behavior or resistance was born of illness or injury, soreness or lameness. In my lifetime as a horsewoman I have known very few horses that go out of their way to hurt a rider. You can come across a horse that has been mistreated, receives a trigger that sets him off mentally, but these horses are fairly easy to identify. These horses should be left to a professional.
 
If you are not experienced in identifying physical issues in a horse then seek the advice of a medical expert and have your horse’s health evaluated with a quick exam.
 
Check to make sure all your tack fits properly. Ill-fitting bits, bridles and saddle can cause pain and cause resistance to work in any horse, however good-natured it is or well-trained to its job.
 
When you are confident that your horse is sound and that your tack is fits properly, then the next step is to look at his lifestyle.
 
If your horse is misbehaving or being over excitable be certain that he is not being overfed with a high grain ration or a ration that is too high in protein. Certain horses have a strong reaction to corn and oats so check that your grain ration is appropriate for your age and breed of horse and the type and amount of work he is doing. Also give him as much time out in the field as possible. Horses that are turned out for longer periods will tend to be happier, healthier and quieter to ride.
 
The key to success with your horse is good education built on a solid foundation of trust. Time you spend teaching your horse good manners and bonding with him on the ground will help you in the saddle. So plan a program of exercises you can do together on the ground where you know you will be confident. These can be anything from carrot stretches (which you know he’ll like), to round penning, obstacle training, work on the longe line, breathing and natural horsemanship exercises.
 
Further your knowledge by resourcing exercises and techniques from well-respected trainers from the wealth of resources available online, in print/audio. These valuable resources are inexpensive and at your fingertips so choose whatever fits your needs and style of riding and get busy.
 
Remember knowledge builds confidence and to establish trust with your horse he needs your leadership. This translates into you knowing exactly what to ask of your horse, how to ask it of your horse and having a clear understanding of the end result you wish to accomplish from the exercise and how to reward the horse’s efforts correctly.
 
Remember any time you are with your horse you are teaching him something and pecking order and respect is being determined. Even if you are just going in his stall to throw in hay, make sure he backs up out of your space respectfully. You should make your horse acquiesce to some request you make every time you see him.
 
Adopt a Positive Attitude
 
Write down your list of goals. It is important to write it because this way the left side of your brain is being activated and you will retain the knowledge. Be sure you write each goal in a positive language and in the present tense e.g. ‘I do not mind jumping oxers’ becomes ‘I love jumping oxers’. Neuro-Linguistic Programming {NLP} is a useful method to adapt to both build confidence and build success, and this is a small part of how to utilize its benefits. It is a topic well-worth investigation.
 
Visualization is key to riding well and being successful. You can use mental imaging to help improve your mindset. You can fool your subconscious by replacing the memory of poor riding by visualizing the problem going smoothly.
 
For example, let’s say every time you walk your horse by a certain part of the arena he spooks. In your mind’s eye visualize your horse walking calmly past the area while you breathe softly in and out (breathing is a very important aid much overlooked when riding horses, more on that later in this article).
 
Picture how you look on your horse sitting tall and proud with a relaxed back, draped over your horse in complete balance and calmness allowing his hips to take your seat gently left and right in an almost imperceptible manner. Imagine your ankles gently flexing, your hips with your inside rein gently taking his head away from the object and your inside leg gently pushing rhythmically just behind the girth. When your ride your horse use the same visualization. You will be surprised at how much more compliant your horse will be at walking past the area.
 
Don’t Ask Too Much Of Yourself (Or Your Horse!)
 
When you are ready to hit the saddle again set yourself up for success with a set of simple goals. Do not overface you or your horse by asking too much too soon. For example, if the issue was with him balking at fences, then don’t start by asking him to repeat jump a fence he previously refused. Instead, look to his training and start him back to basics by walking and then trotting over poles on the ground, then jump a few cross poles and then on to a small fences and courses.
 
Begin your program in an enclosed space either inside or outside where you will have maximum control of your horse. If possible try not to ride alone, but have a knowledgeable equestrian friend stand center of the ring to give you encouragement and help if necessary.
 
If he is prone to excitement use the longe line and exercise him through all three gaits preferably with side reins to teach him to accept the bit. If he does not stand quietly to mount take the time to teach him.
 
Most issues that occur in the saddle are a result of lack of education either on the part of the horse and/or the rider. Green horses and green riders are a recipe for disaster so if you both lack experience have someone more accomplished and experienced train your horse while you ride one that can safely teach you. It is always best to work with a professional, even if it is just once a week to progress your riding skills and education.
 
That BugBear ~ Tension
 
Tension is the bugbear of working with horses for many riders, either their own uncontrolled tension or that in their horse. As you develop into an advanced rider you learn how to use a certain level of tension to improve your performance in competition, but for many folks it remains their nemesis.
 
Neither horse nor rider can learn effectively is they are not relaxed, and having a clear understanding of the job at hand and the ability to answer the questions and challenges it presents are a pre-requisite for relaxation.
 
Your posture and breathing greatly affect tension. Your involuntary nervous system is located in the ganglia by the rib heads in the thoracic spine. This finely tuned system is responsible for how your muscles work and how your body deals with anxiety. For example, if you ride with your shoulders hunched up you will be limiting the smoothness with which your lungs can operate which may in turn make you breathless and cause your heart to beat faster. As your involuntary nervous system is now working harder it will send a message to your adrenal glands and here you go on the anxiety train.

 
Work on correcting your posture with an open chest, arms relaxed and hanging off the shoulders by taking your shoulders up and rounding them backwards and letting gravity take the weight of your arms down. Then bend your arms at the elbow and keep your elbows just touching your waist. This will allow you to center your core and use your core to help in your riding. Make sure you have the key riding structure of axis through the ear/elbow/hip/heel line and from the bit through the rein with thumbs on top, wrist flat to the outside and to the elbow.
 
Breathing can be controlled to help lessen tension in both you and your horse. At the walk try breathing in for four hoof falls and then breathing out for four hoof falls. Counting is a distraction and distraction is a valuable teaching tool that can encourage relaxation.
 
 As a clinician even when I am training advanced dressage riders I employ the method of distraction when they are having difficulty learning a new movement. For example a rider may have difficulty with the changes every three. I will ask them to count the changes out loud. 1,2,3, then 2,2,3, then 3,2,3 etc. The rider is now focused on the timing, is breathing in each stride to speak out loud, and their aids for the change will be properly timed as a result because their mind has already determined when the change is coming. This also helps them keep in rhythm, which is another key in keeping relaxation for both horse and rider.
 
It is also important to be mindful that no rider is perfect. Every time you do anything things are going to go wrong. Allow yourself the mistakes but do not become overly focused on them. The paralysis of analysis can set in and you must use action and not just words, even if they are positive ones. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake and never punish a horse for making a mistake. All we must ask of each other is that we try and reward that effort.
 
Very often people become so concerned with their progress and journey to improvement that they totally forget to celebrate the small successes that they achieve. It is important not to become disheartened but to focus on the positives.
 
Avoid Negative People
 
This is not always possible especially if you have a member of your family that is always negative. We do get to choose our friends and role models so make wise choices. Positive input and encouragement is extremely important to our success in life. No man is after all, an island.
 
Remember, the only limits you have are those you set upon yourself. Do not let other people define them for you and try to avoid setting limits on yourself.
 
If you become overwhelmed or feel a situation is too dangerous then do not hesitate to consult a professional trainer. Ensure that you choose someone that has a positive attitude and energy in their method of training horses and teaching riders. Many of us have lost confidence at some point or other and overcome it and are empathetic with your situation and have much experience in aiding others with similar issues. 
 
Your quest to get back to riding with happiness and confidence is always attainable!
 
 
About the author: Nikki Alvin-Smith is a professional writer and PR/Marketing Specialist. Her works have been published in over 230 magazines worldwide. Nikki is a British international Grand Prix dressage trainer/clinician who has competed in Europe at the Grand Prix level earning scores of over 72%. Together with her husband Paul, who is also a Grand Prix rider, they operate Willowview Hill Farm, a private horse breeding/training farm in Stamford, NY. Please visit her website at https:/www.nikkialvinsmithstudio.com to learn more.