Love Never Ends So Neither Does Grief – The Pain of Losing Your Heart Horse Is With You For Life But An Understanding Of Quantum Physics Helps
By Nikki Alvin-Smith

Love Never Ends So Neither Does Grief

Many horse owners have experienced the loss of a horse. Whether the loss was a pro-active decision to euthanize their beloved equine (something I firmly believe is the last great kindness that we can do for our horses or pets when the time comes), or the loss occurs unexpectedly and the animal dies, the trauma of losing a horse is very real.
Grief is not a linear process, and as some of us have also experienced the loss of siblings, parents, children, or other family members or close friends we know all too well the emotional rollercoaster that ensues when we lose someone we love.
The science behind grief and ways to ‘learn to live’ with loss is well documented but also at times can become over-simplified. Emotional health is not something to be ignored and much work has to be done to overcome the feelings that are kicked off by the loss of a horse.
There are many proven and unproven notions and ideas on how to manage grief. A pet that is alongside you in your living space such as a dog or cat is sometimes touted as harder to lose than an animal that lives outside your housing domain. But horse folks likely disagree with that sentiment. All animals we love are hard to lose, just as all people we love are hard to lose.
Depending on your faith and beliefs the seemingly finite moment when death occurs and our loved ones leave this temporal plane, may of course not be finite at all. But that is a topic for another article.
That Special Horse
You can’t have a career competing, training, breeding or simply be a horse owner with one primary equine partner at a time without realizing that certain horses hold a special connection to our hearts. Our ‘heart’ horse may come along just once in life, or you may be fortunate to have enjoyed close emotional bonds with several horses over the length of your time with these noble beasts.
What is it that occurs when you meet a certain horse and you instantly know that this is a horse you want in your life? That instant connection? Have you experienced it?
For me I have had occasions when a horse has literally come into distant view at the end of a barn aisle on its way to be presented to me as a prospective purchase and known right away that this horse was the one for me. Other times an experienced equestrian friend that knows me and my riding well, has recommended a particular horse out of a herd for me after careful analysis of the horse in herd behavior, and it has worked out to be a sincere ‘heart horse’ that simply developed over time.
Then there are the chance occasions, when you are visiting a barn sometimes far away from home such as just happened to me during my recent trip to England. I was invited by the renowned carriage driving expert David West of Westways Carriages, Woburn, U.K., to visit his yard following a carriage ride. He introduced me to each and every horse through the stables who were all busy enjoying there tea. While I liked every horse, there was one that I instantly connected with even before I entered his stall space. When Ebeneezer, a 3-year-old Friesian stallion had been purchased by David he explained that the horse was undernourished and not in good shape. I was so drawn to this particular horse it was quite remarkable, even to this veteran horse breeder and trainer who has owned many horses. David watched us connect with great interest, eventually he turned to my husband who stood next to him in the doorway and asked if I was a healer. He too saw the evident connection. I wish I could bring that horse home. I tried!
The loss of your heart horse can be a devastating blow and very hard to get around and learn to live with.
The use of the creative arts as a therapy to transition past the more painful aspects of grief I have found highly useful. As you can probably tell from the fact I am writing about this topic today, I find writing about it helps. Here is a link to the article I wrote just after the loss of my last horse, my self-made Grand Prix partner WVH Charrington, aka Charlie, back when it occurred in 2019. I described a transfer of energy that I felt at a specific place and time after he died in this article. Perhaps quantum funneling is something that I don’t understand as part of quantum physics but experience? Who knows. More on that later.

Charrington WVH
Shortly afterward I lost my father, then we lost my husband’s Grand Prix horse WVH Tiberio Lafite aka Tigger, and then in September this year we lost one of our fraternal black labs, Carlo. Just like everyone else, when we lose those we love we have little choice but to simply get on with it and do our best to move forward.
Aside from all the great advice published about how to deal with grief, the reality is that love is never-ending. Our love doesn’t end at death. And that’s O.K. We don’t have to try and replace a horse we lost with another on some particular time frame or at all. Let’s face it, you can never duplicate a relationship or individual and neither should you try.
I am a firm believer that everyone and everything comes into our life for a reason. Perhaps to give us strength and support at a time when we need it; to teach us something we need to carry forward with us; to encourage us on our life’s journey. Sometimes we figure out what it is and most times we don’t. The ripple effect of having a particular horse in your life can extend beyond the trust and bond you develop with it. In some cases its presence may have also had a significant unnoticed benefit for someone else.
But is there more to life and loss than we realize? It is an interesting topic and the world of quantum physics (pun intended) is one that we presently experience dished out to us in entertainment like Marvel movies and science fiction all the time. Philosophy and science can walk hand in hand it seems like folks like Albert Einstein discovered.
Perhaps you don’t know what I am talking about when I mention quantum physics and explaining it can be hard. This is a super YouTube science video, “Quantum Mechanics Explained in R Explained in Ridiculously Simple Words,” that does a great job of executing that task. It is well worth viewing.
If you feel like this article took a right turn or paradigm shift you are correct. Aside from the regular psychological advice you have likely explored to help you navigate the loss of your heart horse, and the realization that such a thing as a ‘heart horse’ is very real for most of us for reasons we cannot fully comprehend, quantum physics helps open our minds to a better understanding of this temporal plane.
Embracing the knowledge that as humans we don’t have all the knowledge we need to properly understand the lasting bond we feel for those we have lost (or perhaps indeed have not lost at all), can certainly help mitigate the very real negative emotional ballast that we carry forward with us in our daily lives. Give it a look – you may be surprised.